Week 9: Dual Income families!

So glad I get to blog about this this week. I have a very intersting case that deals with a mother in the work place and another concerning dual workplace.
1st of all, My Mother-in-law, she is amazing! I absolutly love her and the way she leads our family. My father-in-law lives in Canada with his new wife and rarely comes to AZ. (fleeing fathers ring a bell) He left the family when my husband was 21, his younger brother were 17 and 14 and his youngest sister was 10...needless to say this had an impact in and of itself. However, through our discussions in class I was able to make alot of economical connection. My fatherinlaw was required to pay a certain amount in child support every month which he has failed to do until just this year (its been 5 years since he left) and so my mother-in-law was forced to leave the home and get a job to support the last three children still in the home. A mother who has been at home at least for the past 21 to 25 years, being called into the workforce with no preparation and less than no money to spare is a scary thing. She immeadiatly made time restraints on her work, making sure that she was home from work intime to spend time with her kids, he reached out to the church for support that was given with love and willingness. With constant meeting with her bishop and the understanding of her children, the situation was functionable, not ideal, but functionable. After our discussion in class i realized just how unideal that situation that my mother-in-law was in.

her being away from home changed the roles and functionings of each family member. older siblings became dual providers, a father figure was formed from the eldest son and the youngest was forced to rely on other significat relationshipd for support when her mother was absent when providing for her. This the way that the family is just amazing! The way bthat people adapt! however this can cause complication, I think it goes back to what we learned last week about crisis and how we persive it. Thats the most important part. my in-laws were able to alk about the divorce an extreme life changes that were happening to them and they were able to find a common ground, or an understanding of eachothers pains that helped to re-establish new norms and roles. I think this is very important and while this is never trhe ideal situation, they made a horrible situation into an opportunity to get closer and help one another through pain and anger.

As for Dual family income I often thing of my family. My mom is a great home maker. She stays home and has stayed home since before I was born, and i know that having her home helkp me value and understand my role within my family. More recently she stated working in the summer out of the house. Yes, she doesnt even leave home for this job, and it still has an impact on our family. Grated, its seasonal and her kids can come to her at anytime and she is almost just as available when working as she is when she isnt working, however it was still a strain, we had to replace meals with fast food, time and talking with friends and facebook and the money that was earned from my mothers income went to family vacations so we actually ended up being more tight with our money so that we wouldnt have to take anything out of the bank for our vacations.

I think after this class, the biggest conclusion that I came to ( and the simplist) is that the the family structure has purpose, its a functioning system and just like any other functioning system, it needs to have each role filled. I walked away from class with the knowledge and understanding that when I am a mom, thats all i wanna be and thats all i wanna focus on. This was actually a pretty big realization for me, i had alwasy that that I would work for just a little while my husbands career was developing but i think i can be better used in the home, establishing my family values and structure.