Week 12: Divorce and Seperation

the picture above is a very accurate depiction of the skewed perception of divorce in our society. Sit-com such as "Happily divorced" and "Parenthood" and "Family Matters" all give a warped view of the trials and hardships that come with divorce and step parenting.

Factors that play into Divorce/Predictors
-Limited education
-Underage (18 years and younger)
-Religious beliefs
-Family support
-Social Standing
-Your view of gender roles/family/marriage roles

Process of Family Reformation
-symbolic interaction of relationships
-roles changing with legality
-families have to choose there activeness in certain relationships

Protection
-Have conversation/ Anticipate and recognize
-Cleave unto your spouse and leave your parents under-wing
-Affection and connection
-Constant Dating ( the most important 5 hours of your week)
-Don't share marital issues with other, work them out with each other

I thought that it was interesting when discussing with Bro. and Sis. Williams that they had some issues that we had never mentioned when brainstorming possible hardships on a mixed family. For example, losing the faith of a best friend like bro. Williams did. Or lose respect from a mother because your moving away from family with grand babies like sis. williams. I think what I learned more than anythign is that the family is a delicate thin g that has to be regarded as fragile and breakable. I think the Williams handle their obtsicles with great care and poise. And if they had taken a decision that affected others too lightly it could have proven to be detrimental to thier families happiness and development.

Week 11: Parenting and Discipline

I decided just to post a few of my favorite most influential notes from this week! Enjoy!

Three Situations in which parents need to be involved in the discipline process

1Too Dangerous to let the consequences do the teaching
2Consequences are too far in the future to understand and learn from
3The consequence affects others

Start off with polite request/ teaching respect

Then, an I message

WHEN YOU... leave your socks on the floor
I FEEL... like your taking advantage of me
BECAUSE... I either have to pick them up or have a dirty house because of you
I WOULD LIKE... for you to try to remember to pick them up for me

I think its important to remember that even if you use these steps, you may not be teaching them respect if the last part is approached incorrectly. For example, if you say ( in the above situation) I WOULD LIKE you to never do that again or id like you to stop being selfish and think of me and my feeling first. This could just cause the person to cut themselves off and not learning anything, as well as being more disrespectful.
LOVE AND LOGIC, now my mom and my aunt are doing this and its really interesting. I believe that it has some really great ideas. HOWEVER i think at times it can become very manipulative. I think its important to involve the kids in their consequences. They will learn what logical consequences are and they will be more accepting of it when they deserve those consequences, good or bad.

Discipline is teaching! Punishment is not teaching, its and inaccurate way to teach realistic consequences.

The way that children view their parents is very similar to the way that they see God.


Segment #3 where often is heard a discouraging word

"i dont see why id waste money on guitar lessons if you wont practice anyways"
Assuming that they would get in trouble

Instead use positive re-enforcement and show trust in your child so you can expect trust from their part
"what are your plans" "you have good judgement" " You know the rules"